i haven't updated in a while, because i have been ridiculously busy at work.

but everything is going peachy. work is work. and i'm making alright money. the whole school thing is getting stressful. and i'm just going crazy here. i seriously just wish sometimes, i'd be out on my own. not living with anyone. i know that'd be hard. but i think it'd be worth it. but other times i love it here. the not paying much for anything and stuff. i don't know.

i probably shouldn't have started this because i obviously didn't go any where with it. maybe i'll update later.

So I'm sitting here in my defensive driving class and I don't like anyone here. But I have to be here so I can not be in so much trouble.
Anywho, I was thinking the other night, why would I waste so much time being sad and depressed about something that I can't really control. I mean I can somewhat control it, but at the same time, I can't. And I don't think that's what my energy needs to be wasted on. I look in all the wrong places. I want it to happen so badly, so I put myself out there. I don't keep eggs in several baskets, they all go in the same one. So I mean, eventually, I figure something will happen. I guess I should just calm down and not focus on who I want it to be or where I'm gonna find it. I'm 18. I'm just lonely. I know exactly what I want in someone and I've decided not to settle for anything less.